Titling Your Memoirs

For some authors, a book’s title comes as a brainstorm before the first word is written. For others, titling their manuscript is an arduous process, completed only when the printer is calling for final changes. Naming your memoir is particularly challenging – almost like naming your child. You want something that fits. Something that encompasses the spirit and flavor of what lays inside.

But with careful thought, creativity, and insight, a poignant title is indeed possible. Take a look at these famously titled autobiographies that won the acclaim of readers and critics alike:

• Me (Katherine Hepburn)
• The Memoirs of an Amnesiac (Oscar Levant)
• Long Walk to Freedom (Nelson Mandela)
• I Can’t Wait Until Tomorrow, Cause I Get Better Looking Every Day (Joe Namath)
• Kiss and Make-Up (Gene Simmons)
• Last Words (George Carlin)
• Up From Slavery (Booker T. Washington)
• Leading With My Chin (Jay Leno)
• I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (Maya Angelou)
• Open (Andre Agassi)
• Living History (Hillary Clinton)
• Born Standing Up (Steve Martin)
• The Story of My Experiments with Truth (M.K. Gandhi)
• In Search of Identity (Anwar el-Sadat)
• I Am Not Spock (Leonard Nimoy)
• Wishful Drinking (Carrie Fisher)

You have nine months to name a child, right? Give yourself time and space to come up with a title for your autobiography that feels just right. Remember, your book’s title is the first and most prominent clue you’ll give readers about the contents of your memoir. It’s also the lasting association readers will carry with them after they close the book for the final time.

Think hard about your book title. Make it fit, make it good.

Make it you.

Print Your Memoirs: Ebooks Miss the Connection

As a personal historian who helps people write their life stories, I see and hear families deliberating about whether the cost of producing a hard copy book is necessary. I get it. Electronic books – those available online only – and websites can be less expensive to create. Paper isn’t cheap and the time required to print and distribute is real. But somehow, it always has felt to me, reading an ebook or web-based family history just isn’t the same.

Maybe it’s the feel of the book in your hands or the smell of its pages. Maybe it’s the permanence of a bound book. It’s not dependent on your computer revving up or a website being accessible.

Well, it turns out, it’s not just me. And it’s not just us if you share my thinking. Even millennials – those born between 1980 and 2005 – find hard copy books more…valuable. An article in the Huffington Post shared the following gems when it comes to print versus ebooks:

·         Young people are more likely to believe that there's useful information only available offline.

·         Students opt for physical copies of humanities books, even when digital versions are available for free.

·         Teens prefer print books for personal use.

·         Students don't connect emotionally with on-screen texts.

·         Students comprehend less of the information presented in digital books.

·         Parents and kids prefer to read physical books together.

And none of this touches on the inevitability of technological change. The ebook or website you produce today may very well be obsolete when your grandchildren or great grandchildren get around to reading it.

What could be more important to preserve in hard copy form than a personal of family history? I can’t think of a thing. And evidently, millennials can’t either.

Take the long view, please. Print really is better.

Please let me know if I can help.

Writing to Heal

I’ve written before about the benefits of personal writing: the research shows that writing (and rewriting) one’s story can bring about greater happiness.  Again and again, people ease emotional burden and recharge their lives after writing their stories. The act of writing—whether it is shared or not—is hugely cathartic.

What is new to this blog, however, is the fact that personal writing has huge healing benefits to the body as well. According to research conducted by social scientist James W. Pennebaker, people who engage in expressive or personal writing experience visit doctors less often than those who do not. Additionally, in the months after participating in a series of expressive writing exercises, people experience:

• Decreased heart rate
• Lowered blood pressure
• Enhanced breathing
• Strengthened immune system
• Improved self-esteem
• Greater effectiveness in managing stress

Pennebaker has made a career out of studying the impact of expressive writing. He’s an expert on the biological effects, the psychological effects, and the behavioral changes that follow personal writing exercises. After decades immersed in the field, his conclusion is quite simple: “Writing [has] a far more powerful tool for healing than anyone [could ever] imagine.”

We all have different reasons for wanting to write our life stories. Some of us want to preserve memories for our family. Some of us enjoy the process of reflecting on our history. Some of us have lessons we want to convey to our children.

But all of us could benefit from a healthier mind and body.

Writing heals.

I help people write their life stories and I conduct life writing workshops. I’ve seen the positive impact dozens of times. Please let me know if you’d like my help.

Benches and Books

My husband, Matt, and I just returned from Cape May, New Jersey. Adored by bird lovers (him) and beach lovers (me) alike, Cape May was a perfect destination for us. And with Labor Day behind us, the town was sleepy and quiet and ideal for those seeking downtime.

One afternoon, we found ourselves walking along the boardwalk and scanning the bench plaques lining the shore. Plaque after plaque memorialized a loved one who had once strolled along the same path. Someone who savored the beach, the birds, the sand, and the shops of this unique town. Unsurprisingly, I found myself slowing my pace with each bench, wanting to read the story behind every name. Certainly this was more of a me-thing than a Matt-thing, so I was thankful for his patience as I studied strangers I’d never meet.

And then Matt asked this: “Where would you want your bench to be, and what would you want it to say?”

Interesting question.

After a few moments of thought, we each began suggesting possible settings, possible inscriptions for our respective benches. Attempting to identify the place where we feel most at home and the handful of words that explain why that is so.

Not an easy task if you care to try.

As a personal historian, I am taken with these kinds of mental exercises. One location, one phrase to capture your essence. But I am also grateful that the tools I use–full-length books—allow for more. More locations to highlight, more people to acknowledge, more experiences to share.

There are no word limits in books, no maximum number of stories to tell. My clients have lots to say and, together, we write it all.

If you are interested in capturing a full-length story in a full-length book, I’d be honored to help you write it. And perhaps, one day, your children can read it while sitting on your bench.

Please let me know if you’d like to learn more.

When the Political and Personal Collide

“Cool.”

That was my 12-year-old son’s response when I told him that gays and lesbians could now legally marry in every state of the country. It was a historic day earlier this summer when the Supreme Court ruled in favor of same sex marriage, but my son didn’t see what the big deal was. He believed gays and lesbians were fully equal and assumed others did as well. This “historic” decision was more head-scratching to him than remarkable.

But one day, years from now, he’ll get it. He’ll tell his children that he remembers when homosexuals couldn’t marry. Maybe he’ll even be able to recall watching television the night America voted in its first black President—another event that will undoubtedly grow in significance to him as he matures. Like all of us, he’ll see the world change and he’ll remember how different things were when he was young.

Think back to the political landscape into which you were born and the policies that you watched change your country and world. Do you remember when Prohibition ended? When black and white children attended different schools? When contraception was illegal?

We are all formed by the families, schools, and communities of our childhood. But our country’s political climate plays a part in shaping the people we grow to be as well. When you write your life story, explain where your history and your country’s history intersect.  Describe how political events impacted you on an individual level. Share national events through a personal lens.

Convey the whole story of your life. From your childhood home to the world in which it sits.

Explain what it was like when you were a kid. And why that was remarkable indeed.